How to Live a Balanced Life in a Digital World with Meico Whitlock

Do you have visions of waking up without fear? Without the terror of a backlog of emails queued up and demanding your immediate response… or the latest batch of social media updates from people you don’t even know that well clamoring for your attention?

Meico Marquette Whitlock has been there. He used to be like you. He was on the utter brink of burnout from work and tech overload. But several years ago, Meico had a breakthrough - and he shares what he's learned along the way with us in this insightful episode. 

Meico is the Founder and CEO of Mindful Techie and a sought-after speaker and trainer on mindfulness, technology, and productivity. Speaking with him gave me some great ideas to use to get control of my own work-life and tech-life balance (yikes), as well as take a hard look at my digital activities (double yikes). 

Here are some of the topics we discussed: 

• The process that he used to encourage more calm and mindfulness with his team at a nonprofit
• How to reclaim our lives from email, social media, devices and live life on our own terms
• What people usually get wrong when thinking of work-life-tech "balance"
• Meico's new book Intention Deficit Disorder

A Meico Whitlock quotable: "You can do it all and have it all - just not at the same time."

Connect with Meico:
http://mindfultechie.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/meicowhitlock/
https://www.instagram.com/amindfultechie/

One of my favorite posts by Meico: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/mindful-leadership-trying-times-meico-marquette-whitlock-he-him-/

The Intention Planner

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About Julia Campbell, the host of the Nonprofit Nation podcast:

Named as a top thought leader by Forbes and BizTech Magazine, Julia Campbell (she/hers) is an author, coach, and speaker on a mission to make the digital world a better place. 

She wrote her book, Storytelling in the Digital Age: A Guide for Nonprofits, as a roadmap for social change agents who want to build movements using engaging digital storytelling techniques. Her second book, How to Build and Mobilize a Social Media Community for Your Nonprofit, was published in 2020 as a call-to-arms for mission-driven organizations to use the power of social media to build movements. Julia’s online courses, webinars, and talks have helped hundreds of nonprofits make the shift to digital thinking and raise more money online. 

Clients include GoFundMe Charity, Meals on Wheels America, the Make-A-Wish Foundation, and the Boys & Girls Clubs of Americ

Take my free masterclass: 3 Must-Have Elements of Social Media Content that Converts

Transcript

Julia Campbell: 0:02

Hello, and welcome to nonprofit nation. I'm your host, Julia Campbell. And I'm going to sit down with nonprofit industry experts, fundraisers, marketers, and everyone in between to get real and discuss what it takes to build that movement that you've been dreaming of. I created the nonprofit nation podcast to share practical wisdom and strategies to help you confidently find your voice. definitively grow your audience and effectively build your movement. If you're a nonprofit newbie, or an experienced professional, who's looking to get more visibility, reach more people and create even more impact than you're in the right place. Let's get started. All right. Welcome to another episode of the nonprofit nation Podcast. I am thrilled to be here today with Meiko. Mark wet Whitlock, thank you so much for being here we go.

Meico Whitlock: 1:03

I'm excited to be here looking forward to the conversation and looking forward to how this might be received for the folks that are listening.

Julia Campbell: 1:10

So, yes, oh, it's such a heated topic, not only for me, but for my listeners. So what I want to do is, you know, let's begin with your story. I always tell people never to say things like, let's begin with your story, because it's very loaded, and you don't know where to start. But I would like for you to talk about how you got involved in the work of mindfulness around technology. Specifically, maybe you could talk about a little anecdote that you wrote on your website, where you were really burned out, you change your entire life, you took a month long work and email free sabbatical to Brazil. And I think we're all going to be jealous of your story. But tell us how you got started. Yeah, so I have worked in the public sector and nonprofit sector most of my professional career. And in my last role prior to doing the work that I do right now, I was communications director for a large international association focused on ending HIV and hepatitis. And for many folks that work in the change making space, you know what it means to have an outsize mission. But often you don't have the people power or the money power and all the other things to actually align with the outsize mission that you have. So actually, when I started this, this organization, I was the first full time hire for communications. And one of the things I was tasked with was actually staffing up and putting in place the processes for the organization for internal and external communications. So as you can imagine, folks that are listening to this, you know that that's a huge set of shoes to fill in, to fill in to step into, notwithstanding the mission of the organization on its own right. And so I, I did that I was with the organization for about four and a half years, and maybe about midway through that, I started to essentially feel rundown. And I started to, you know, for lack of a better word, I hit a brick wall, and I was up against a potentially really challenging health crisis. And that was the start of a wake up call of sorts, we are realized that this wasn't working. And the disconnect was that I enjoyed the work that I was doing, I enjoyed the people. And I enjoyed the impact that I was having. But there was some disconnect between how I felt like I was able to show up. And that started a series of sort of introspective conversations where I realized in the words of Wayne Dyer that I didn't want to die, but I'm using a side of me, I didn't want to drop dead literally from overwork, and have my legacy be that I was really good at, you know, checking emails or managing projects. And when I had that realization, one of the things I realized is that I had disconnected my personal spiritual and mindfulness based work that I have been doing simply most of my life since at least since I was a teenager, I've been always really big on self development, personal development, spirituality. And I realized that I had disconnected that and felt like I needed to be a different person, when I showed up at work. And when I had this realization about, you know, dropping dead from overwork, I realized that I had to do something to reconnect with that. And that started a conversation about what's my sphere of influence in the organization in terms of changing and transforming culture. At that time, I was managing a team. And I realized that I can start with that I can change the culture of the organization overnight, but I can start with the team. I have lots of flexibility in terms of how I'm managing that. And we began to have really frank and open conversations about wellness and well being imbalance and how folks were coping and managing especially during the more stressful times of the year in our work. I talked about

Meico Whitlock: 5:00

My practices and cluding, mindfulness and meditation. But I really encourage folks to think about what worked for them. Like it didn't have to be a mindfulness practice or spiritually based practice. And so we started to integrate this into our meetings. And folks share things like cooking recipes, because like they like to cook. One person was a photographer, and we did a really interesting exercise with light in the dark with their camera exercise. Another person was really big on music. And so we talked about what was happening in, you know, what, what was the latest thing they're listening to, and how they use music to help them, you know, sustain and regain balance when they're off balance. And this is a time where I realized I had all this built up leave time, which last one can probably relate to who are listening to this. And I wasn't using it. And so, you know, it was customary for folks that were going to, you know, maternity leave or maternity leave to take, like these huge, you know, chunks of time. And I was like, Well, if they can do that, and you know, there's nothing wrong, I should be able to do the same thing. And so I had a conversation, my supervisor said, like, hey, like, I'm not having a kid, like, I'm not sick. But I, I don't want to be sick. So can I can I take this time? Why should you have to be sick? Exactly. To take time off? Exactly, exactly. And so I got a lot of support. And once I got the support, actually, when I started the planning process, what that would actually look like negotiating with other teams for coverage, figuring out if we need temporary folks really assessing went across the organization to like, say, okay, like this is the gap of time that I'm going to be a way, what are you anticipating that you actually need, and I work backwards from that to put a plan in place for all of those folks to make sure that their needs are covered, so that I can literally go and spend time away and not have to check my email. That was the thing like I'm not checking email like this is going to be a real sort of unplugging a real vacation. So like, I need you to take this seriously, let me know what you need so that I can help support you and get you ready, because I will not be responding to the emails or looking at emails while I'm away. Wow. So you're good at delegation, then would you say that's a big tip in trying to to create this great work life balance and try to unchained yourself for social media as a leader? Absolutely. So being able to delegate a part of this delegation pieces, being able to say no to things, and being able to recognize if you don't have to do all the things, I think particularly in our space, we feel like we have to do all the things, we have to do all the things right now, some things you can just say no, or not right now. Right? I have this monitor that you can do it all and have it all, just not at the same time. So what's really important right now based on the time and energy resources that you actually have, and can we come back to the other thing is, can we delegate those other things? Or is that other thing actually really as important as you think it is?

Unknown: 7:53

Is this the work that you do with organizations you go in? And you you really try to help them create a structure for this kind of balance? Can you tell me about that?

Meico Whitlock: 8:02

Yeah, so the way I described is I work with change, making organizations and change makers to do great work better. And my focus, my expertise is really on helping folks to address challenges connected to work life, and tech life balance. So what you just described in terms of how I work with organization is really spot on. I do that through training, through coaching, and through consulting work. And so for many of the folks that I work with, generally that the introductory point is they want me to come in and give a talk to their team or do a workshop with their team. That's generally the starting point. And then from there, you know, if an organization is interested in diving deeper, you know, we could do more in depth training over a period of time coaching via individual small groups. And in some cases, I do custom consulting projects. You know, I work with the client, for example, where they wanted me to come in and do a series of self paced mindfulness videos for their fundraising clients. This is a fundraising, a nonprofit fundraising software company that wanted me to do this, they've actually plugged the videos into their CRM, so that the fundraising folks that are using a CRM actually have access to these resources.

Unknown: 9:12

So what do you feel like the number one obstacle is like, what do people most often get wrong? When trying to find or maintain work life balance?

Meico Whitlock: 9:24

I think the biggest thing is, so we're using the word balance, and that's an assessable word. So I use bows, because that's the word that people know. But really, when we think about this, when we talk about balance, we have to recognize that there isn't a one size fits all approach to this that what looks like balance for you. It's going to be different for what it looks like for someone else. So we take for my mouse, for example, many of us are accustomed to the traditional nine to five model the 40 to 50 hours a week. That works really well for some people, but it doesn't work well for everyone. So recognizing that there are differences In terms of what that balance looks like, and that it's okay, if it looks different tie to this is our work and our lives move in seasons. And so what might be balanced for you in this season of your life might be different for you in another season, right? So So God, Yes, right. So work might be different for you, maybe your your fundraiser, for example, end of the year is like a different type of season for you, right? Maybe you have a life event change, right, and maybe you have a kid, maybe you get married, maybe you're taking care of an older relative or friend, vows gonna look different for you, depending on where you are, in that season in your life. And the final point I want to make on this point is that, because it's an ongoing process, it's not a one time flip of the switch. And so we have to be constantly engaged and asking ourselves, you know, what's important to me right now? What season of my life and my work Am I in and and this moment? How do I align my time, my energy and my resources in a way that's going to help me to find the balance that I need right now, in this moment?

Unknown: 11:02

I love that you said that, because I am so skeptical of the term work life balance. I was reading a lot of your website and your blog. And I love what you said about seasons. And I love that you use the term work life balance, because that's what people are searching on. That's the term people know. But I always feel like, if I'm slaying in one area of my life, I can't be slaying in all areas, you know, I can't be an amazing friend and incredible wife, a wonderful child, to my parents, and a mom, and you know, working I can't be firing on all cylinders. But like you said, the seasons. So during COVID, you know, I was home with the kids, my husband, I were home and doing remote learning. And it was just a very different season than we had planned for. Yeah, now they're getting, you know, a little bit older and more responsible for themselves. And I can potentially work more in the evening or work more in the morning. So I think it's so important what you said, and what happens. I think I see a lot, especially with women, this does happen with men too. But when we become mothers, or when something happens that throws our work, balance off. When life intervenes, we feel like we're failures, we feel like we can't you know, why can't we manage it all? Why can't we have all the plates lined up perfectly? Or? I'm terrible with metaphors? Yeah, I know all the I don't know what line something lined up perfectly all the plates in the air? I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about? I'm sure yeah, in your work?

Meico Whitlock: 12:36

Yeah, I've actually posted I posted about this recently, on social media, you know, this idea. I posted a snapshot, I have a Twitter conversation, someone who was expressing the same thing about, you know, everyone else seems to be able to do all of this and work 40 hours and take care of themselves and take care of the kids like What's wrong with me? It's like, well, first of all, there's nothing deficient with you, you have to recognize that that this idea of the 40 Hour Workweek, and being able to do it all, is based on the idea that you have someone or someone's at home, that are working full time to take care of the home or to take care of your family. Right, all

Unknown: 13:11

1950s dad's over here.

Meico Whitlock: 13:13

Exactly. So I think we have to recognize that and extend to ourselves and to others, a bit of grace, recognizing the dynamic in which we are operating in. The other part of it is in terms of a planning process. You know, I have a an intention planner, that

Unknown: 13:31

I love planners. So it's not available, though. I looked it on your website.

Meico Whitlock: 13:36

Preorder.

Julia Campbell: 13:37

Yeah, okay, pretty darn good.

Meico Whitlock: 13:38

Yes, is available for pre order. So what happens is, I work with a local printer to get these printed. So it's not like print on demand. So I put a lot of care and time into to this product. So it's not like Amazon print on demand, like I actually work with a local designer, and worked with a local printer to actually do and so I do print runs. And so like once the print runs are run out, then you know, we have to restock and get more so But folks indefinitely if they're interested, go to the website and preorder if they're interested in that. But to your point about being able to be at your best and all these different areas of your life. I work with clients around really looking at this like a quarterly basis or 90 day basis, you know, what are going to be your top two personal things, you're going to focus on that you're really going to be nailing, what are going to be the top two things you're going to be focusing on professionally? And what are the things that are going to perhaps be in the background are going to have to wait until the next period. Right. So in other words, if you think about this in terms of the 8020 rule, what am I going to give 80% of my time, my energy my resources to in this quarter. And we recognize that something's like you can't just sort of let let go completely but what can you give less of your time so that you can invest in an inner life, you know, if you're in a peak fundraising Isn't focused on giving your best to that, for example, or you're in a transient parent, when you're a new parent, you know, what needs to fade to the background a little bit so that you can focus on for those first few months, at least, if you're, you know, planning to go back to work, at some point, be available for your family, you know, figure out the daycare and childcare issue. And then, you know, things sort of shift as you move into that to the next season. So that's sort of a concrete example of what I mean in terms of the constant rebalancing and realigning. And the planners as a tool I put together to help people to actually do that. It's actually interesting. So that I created initially for myself, wasn't,

Unknown: 15:40

there's no good. I mean, there's tons of planners out there, but I loved I loved your planner, what I saw on the website, because I love the time blocking the hours, which is something I do, but then it was really, it wasn't as intimidating as something like the full focus planner, which I've tried, or it wasn't as simple as other planners. So I'm really, I'm a planner junkie. I love digital. But I love paper planners. So I'm really excited to try but I did want to ask you, so you came up with it, because there was just nothing out there that you that spoke to you.

Meico Whitlock: 16:15

There's nothing that spoke to me, there was nothing that really integrated the sort of the intentional focus on to it And to your point about like either being too complicated or not having enough structure. And so I use one of these print on demand services. So it wasn't Amazon, one of the one of their competitors. And I just printed one copy. I designed it myself in camp, I'm not really a good designer, but I just sort of like sketched it out. And then I just sort of did what I could and in Canva and you know, had it printed. And I was having an interview similar to this when I first started about four years ago. And I was they were asking me about my morning routine. And I was talking about the planner, and I was showing us like also I wish it's gonna be available for folks like oh, okay, hadn't dawned on me that I think other people are looking for this and that I should sell this.

Unknown: 17:00

Hey, there, I'm interrupting this episode to share an absolutely free training that I created that getting nonprofits of all sizes, big results. sure you've been spending hours on social media, but what can you actually show for it? With all this posting and instagramming and tick talking? Does it really translate into action? In my free training, I'll show you exactly how to take people from passive fans to passionate supporters. And I'll give you specific steps to create social media content that actually converts head on over to nonprofits, that convert.com. Again, that's nonprofits that convert calm and start building a thriving social media community, for your nonprofit right now, without a big team, lots of tech overwhelm or getting stuck on the question, What do I do next? Let me show you how it's done. I can't wait to see what you create. Want to switch gears a little bit to talk about social media. So I am a social media consultant. I advise on it all the time. I know that you have some very strict boundaries around social media. When I was asking for your handles, you said that I see. You said that you're on a break from Twitter, and Facebook. So what I wanted to ask you is really why the break? And then how can other people get that courage to make the break if they want, right?

Meico Whitlock: 18:33

So I know you're a social media consultant, I don't want you to yell at me. But

Unknown: 18:38

trust me, I don't I do not scroll I don't I only use it for professional purposes. I'm not a big fan. But yeah, let's talk about social media. Let's Get Real on andriese.

Meico Whitlock: 18:49

Here's the thing. So I recognize. So particularly when I started my my business, I recognize that, you know, simply as a solopreneur. I have only so much time, energy and resources that I can get to things right. And I think the conventional wisdom is like, Oh, well, you should be on all the platforms, because that's what everyone is doing. Right? Like Oprah is here and like, this person is there and this person is there. And you're like, Oh, I shouldn't be doing that, too. I should be doing all these things, too. It's like, well, that's not really realistic if you're trying to do the things and do those things. Well, right. And so I have to have a conversation about putting into practice what it is that I'm actually preaching, right and to ask myself, okay, what are my core priorities? And how much time and energy and effort Do I have to give to these things, right. And when I had that conversation with myself, I realized that as much as it might make sense for me to be on Twitter, and to be on Facebook, the fact of the matter is I only have the time and energy to really manage one or two platforms really well with my current structure. And so what are going to be those two platforms that make the most sense, right. So that's part of the conversation that I have with myself. The other part of it is like, which platforms actually connect with how I like to communicate.

Unknown: 20:08

This I find important. It's once you like,

Meico Whitlock: 20:11

yeah, I find Facebook to be like Facebook is wonderful. But Facebook just has too much going on for me, right? Twitter is an ongoing, I feel like Twitter is like an ongoing real time text message chain. And I just don't have the bandwidth to be like, I want to post and leave like, I don't want to be there and like, Can I keep the conversation going? Right. And so for that reason, LinkedIn and Instagram work better for me right now in this season in my life and in my business. So I made a decision that it's okay, if I'm missing out on what's on Facebook, and what's on Twitter, I can put an away message up, which, which is I've done. So if you go to my Facebook page, personal and professional, and also Twitter, you'll see that I'm away. And I give you directions on how to connect with me if you still want to connect with me, right? I love that. And what that means is I can embrace the joy of missing out Jomo in the state of humor, the fear of missing out. And so part of that is having the courage to to be able to be okay with missing out. But if you're had this anxiety, just give people permission to reach out to you on the platform that makes the most sense for you.

Unknown: 21:25

And the other thing that you said that makes a lot of sense is when people look at social media, and they say, oh, how are you doing everything? How are you everywhere? How are you managing it, they don't necessarily know what's going on behind the scenes. Yeah, people don't necessarily put their messy stuff out on social media. So I think it's very brave to be able to do that. And it's inspiring. I know that for me, there are constantly calls from friends and colleagues get on Snapchat because I like Snapchat or clubhouse and on Marco Polo, because I like Marco Polo, get on clubhouse because I like clubhouse. And I have to say, Well, I have such limited bandwidth that I am not going to be monitoring fit, like at the end of the day, 20 apps a day and, and email and everything else. So I love that you're putting boundaries around it. But I also love how you framed it where this I tell my clients, if you hate Twitter, and it's a pain, waking up every single day, unless you are a news organization, you don't need if you're a little local library, the local animal shelter, you can probably take a pause, it's probably okay. And you can focus on another channel that you enjoy most that aligns with your goals, and your audience and your communication style. So I love that you give us permission to do that. All right, so I wanted to also ask you about your upcoming book, intention Deficit Disorder, is that coming out in the fall,

Meico Whitlock: 22:58

that's the plan, that might not be the final title. But that's what I'm wanting to title. And the idea is really just to take everything that I have learned through my journey through my experience, and the framework and to actually just put it into one place where it's going to be accessible for folks. I know folks are probably read are familiar with, you know, the the Tim Ferriss like the four hour workweek. And they've read the Stephen Colby things. And similarly to the planner, I just want to create something that builds in a bit more intentionality, that's not as intimidating something that's really actionable, that people can begin to put into action right away. And something that's really changed, where there was really tailor for change makers, a lot of the stuff that's out there that are interested in making gobs of money. And that's great. There's nothing wrong with making gobs of money. But I want to balance that with the the doing good. And having a good impact. Right. I think that is the piece that I want to infuse. And then of course, the mindfulness and intentionality piece as well.

Unknown: 24:01

I love that. All right. So just to wrap up, we could I mean, we could talk for hours. But what is one simple thing that we can do today to increase our focus and productivity in the digital age.

Meico Whitlock: 24:16

Yeah, so I think the one thing that we can do is to slow down or to really walk as opposed to run, and I'll explain it this way. So I learned something interesting about how EMTs and paramedics are trained to respond to crises, especially when they're on the scene of an accident. And I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but they are trained to walk as opposed to running when they arrive on a scene. And I always wondered when I saw paramedics or the ambulance pull up, like why they were sort of just taking their time, you know, getting to the person that actually needed their support. I don't know if you've noticed this. I learned that there's a specific reason they're trained to do this. So imagine that you're a paramedic and you're robbing at this You know, by accident, and you're just sort of running from the ambulance to attend to the person loaning

Unknown: 25:05

through the airport with like this flying everywhere.

Meico Whitlock: 25:08

Exactly, you know, you trip and fall, you know, you cut yourself, and then you're not able to be fully available for the person that you are there to serve, right? What also happens is that your cortisol level and stress levels rise. And when that happens, your ability to be fully mindful in presence of everything that's happening in your environment, is diminished. And what that means is, if you're arriving on the scene of a car accident, you might notice the one person in front of you. But if you're running you trip and fall, you miss the fact that there are two other people that are in critical condition on the other side of the car. And so what happens for many of us is, we feel this pressure to do all the things. And we think that by rushing and hurrying up that we're actually going to get to all the things and we're going to get to the all of them faster. And what actually happens is we diminish our capacity to actually do that. And so if we just took a moment to slow down to walk, as opposed to run, to get clear about our intention for our day, and for our week, and then we could align our use of social media, we could align what's on our calendar in a better way. And in many cases, we will recognize that although you have a mile long to do list, you recognize if you're taking just a few moments to pause, to set that clear intention, that not all of those things are as important as you thought they were. And if they are important, maybe they don't if they don't need to be done right now. Right, you're able to clearly see Oh, okay, actually, I need to focus my time and energy on getting these two things done. Because doing these two things, it's going to have a domino effect, where if I do these things, then it's gonna help me knock over all these other dominoes. But making everything else easier, or either irrelevant.

Unknown: 26:52

I love that, I never noticed that it makes so much sense. It's almost like the analogy of putting your own oxygen mask on the plane before you put anyone else's on because then you are able to think clearly, you're not completely freaking out the viewer, like you said, your cortisol levels. A tip that I got that I rarely follow that you reminded me that I need to follow was from another speaker, who said, when she arrives to a conference, she likes to arrive a full like 15, or even half an hour, early, 15 minutes early, and just sit in her car, and just like, breathe, because if you show up, like you just said to a meeting or a conference, or you know, you're completely all over the place, and you're disorganized, or you're you're thinking about other things, and you're not fully present, it's like you said you're gonna miss something, and then you're probably going to just have to make up the work later. So I love that. Thank you. Well, okay, so we go, you have a free workbook, the seven steps to Mastering the Art of work life balance in a digital world, plus a personal technology audit tool to assess when technology is getting in your way. And that can be found at mindful techie.com Is there any anywhere else that you want us to follow you follow you on your journey, social media that you're actually using?

Meico Whitlock: 28:27

Absolutely. So you can connect with me on LinkedIn, connect with me on on Instagram, as well at a mindful techie. And on LinkedIn, if you just search for my name, Nico Marco Whitlock, I'll pop up and you can connect with me there as well.

Unknown: 28:39

Thank you so much. This has been wonderful. I really appreciate your time. And we know time is valuable. And I just hope that everyone's going to take, take your tips and roll with it and become more focused and productive

Meico Whitlock: 28:52

while also and I appreciate the opportunity, and I hope it's gonna be helpful for folks.

Unknown: 29:03

Well, hey there, I wanted to say thank you for tuning in to my show, and for listening all the way to the end. If you really enjoy today's conversation, make sure to subscribe to the show in your favorite podcast app. And you'll get new episodes downloaded as soon as they come out. I would love if you left me a rating or review because this tells other people that my podcast is worth listening to. And then me and my guests can reach even more earbuds and create even more impact. So that's pretty much it. I'll be back soon with a brand new episode. But until then, you can find me on Instagram at Julia Campbell seven, seven. keep changing the world you nonprofit unicorn